Me? Break-Phobic?

For all my advice about the Unschedule and the Reverse Calendar, I now have a week off from teaching and I am afraid to kick back at all. I can only think that with this one precious week, I better get focused and produce some writing: NOW. This morning I made a to-do list of things I really want to do, most writing- and MFA-related but it is so overwhelmingly long that I am feeling oppressed by it already. Blogging didn't even make the list. I must be doing that thing that John Perry writes about, structured procrastination. I talked about it in my very first post ever. Since the work I'm paid to do has been set aside for a few days, writing has risen to the top of the list. And that is why it is so difficult to do today.

Another reason I am having difficulty taking a break is just plain fear. I want to relax but am afraid that if I do I"ll never get to work again. I have a work schedule (not very unschedule-y of me, I know) all set out for when we are on our snowboarding holiday from Sunday to Wednesday. Get up at 5:30, work on essay until 7:30, meditate, have breakfast with R, R goes out for fresh tracks, I do morning pages, then read for second annotation, then do another half hour on essay, R comes in for mid-morning break. Out on the slopes by 11, snowboard through lunch (good time because everyone else is inside), come back to the room for lunch about 1 or 1:30, rest, back out for night-riding until 7:30, back to room to change, out for dinner. Of course, this will all have to change if it snows overnight. In that case, I need to make fresh tracks too.

All work and no play make TI a dull, dull girl.